The island of The Lost was very fitting for it’s name. I was entranced by the Sirens that live here. I feel as though I have finally awoken from a deep sleep. My ship is in need of some repairs since being docked here for so long. The ocean has put my ship to better use than I have and made a new coral reef. But enough with the sorrow filled poems of my lost mind. Time to repair and set off.

Note to Self: Sometimes lovely sounding things are not as wonderful as they seem.

I want to first apologies for how late I am. I am not going to bore you with all the details of the happenings since my last log entry, but I will give a brief summary. So, last time you heard from me was back in June of 2018. I was telling you about moving and such. Ring any bells? (I had to reread my own entries to be on task.) Well, June was a hectic mess of a move. Then in July I thought that I just needed a fresh start. I thought I needed to get out of Vermont, out of my comfort zone, and I will just burst with inspiration! So I tried moving to Austin, Texas. I packed up my 8 tubs of belongings and my cat, Sammy, and headed out with a friend and her rabbit. The road trip was the easy part. The hard part was that I had a complete mental collapse. I was not as strong as I thought I was. So after 2 weeks in Austin, I just had to come back home to Vermont. I needed the help of my family and home. So me and Sammy made it all the way back to Vermont. Sammy is my rock above all rocks. He kept me together long enough to get help. Truth be told, I am only still here because of him.

Long story short, I got the help I so desperately needed. I feel stronger and more at one with myself now. I am working with wonderful people to help me navigate this adult life. Although, I do wish finding a job would be easier. Like I have been looking for something in my field since December of 2018. DECEMBER! And now it is almost June again. I know I can get any stop gap kind of job, but I am learning how to be selfish and push for the right job for me. The struggle ship has been plowing me over and over. Why is there a lack of need for artists in my area? But I have a few interviews lined up, so cross your fingers for me.

Outside of my mental health and my own version of the “Hunt for the Holy Grail”, I have been slowly pushing myself to do more. I am trying to get involved with some local volunteering groups. I have a gallery showing for June! I am super excited and hella nervous. I will definitely give you all more information closer to the opening. If you told me that I am actively seeking out community outside of my family a year ago, I would have laughed in your face and called you crazy. I was so scared of other people back then. It is crazy how well I am doing with life. Now I just need a job. Slowly yet surely, or so they say.

I think I am going to leave things here for the moment. I promise more content and a regular schedule is coming. So don’t go anywhere just yet. Things are just getting started. I am planning to post more of my artwork that no one has seen before. I have been told to “go big or go home.” So it is balls to the wall time now. I am also researching other platforms to do different things. Like maybe a YouTube channel or Twitch? Also I have been working on creating a business plan and goals for the future. There are a ton of things that I have that will becoming to life in the next couple of weeks. I am super excited to share everything that I have been working on with you guys. Get ready for the show!

Final thoughts from your Captain: The ship has finally been repair and we can get off this Hellish island. I am done being lost. We will not fall victim to the wayward life. We have adventures to get to! As your Captain, I pledge that this ship will continue to move forward. No more long stops. No more Siren’s songs. Plug up your ears with wax my loyal crew, for we have places to explore.

Your Captain,

Suzanna