The Journey of Self Discovery :

The First 10 Years

Suzanna Edwards

Year 1:

Just have to put the pedal to the metal and go all out on it. Have faith in the people you are working with. Don’t give up. Have fun. Don’t stress about the future. We all end up at the same end at the end of life. Make your mark. One day at a time.

I feel as though once I get that job everything else will fall into place. I just have to work hard and keep my head up. Once I stop that is when everything is going to hit the fan. So, for now, I just need to trust the process and keep moving forward.

As for my social media platforms, I just have to update the stuff that I already have accounts to and create ones that I don’t have. I have to have more confidence in my abilities. I am going to start with my website and get all that squared away. Then I am going to dust off my Instagram and add some new pictures. Then I am going to set up a Blogger site for my own personal use. Like an online diary. It will allow me to show that I am human and that I have a connection with people. It will help with my overall mental health and gaining supporters. It will help me to network with other people. Then I am going to start my first YouTube video. Now that is going to be a journey in and of itself. I need to do some research on the artist community on the platform first. I just don’t want to feel like I was just thrown off the boat in the middle of the ocean.

Once I get a good system down and are gathering a good following, I’ll start making a Patron. That is also going to help with the funding of my career. It is going to be interesting to see how much people truly want to support me and to see my growth.

Once I get a job I am going to do all I can to get my own place. I truly need a bed. Sleeping on the couch is not good for my overall health and well-being. Also, I will finally have my independents. I can be as crazy as I want to be. It will be better for my mental and physical health. I just need to sign up for all the housing that I can possibly afford. It will be best in the long run for me and Sammy.

Once I get a job I am going to get a budget planner and start planning everything that I need to save for, need to pay on a monthly basis, and things that I want just because I can. And I need to budget for a gym membership. And plan to buy the exercise equipment that I have on my Amazon wish lists. Actually, I should plan on how to buy most of the things that I have on my wish list. I need to start building my nest egg again. I probably should talk to an accountant or someone about budgeting for my freelance career, how to build my credit, and how to get a good savings account.

I need to get out and meet people. I need to go to Gallery Walk. I also need to sign up of the drawing get together that happens on Tuesday nights. I just have to push myself to go out and not be afraid of my own shadow. I need to trust the process. Just think of the domino effect and how things are just going to happen when it happens. I also need to connect to the people and community that is online as well as in real life. Any way to connect with like-minded people will do so much good for my self-esteem.

I am going to have to design my own tattoos to the way that I want them to look. I want my body to tell the story of Suzanna. I want to be as transparent as possible with my art. I just need to start somewhere. It will be a good project to further my creativity. It will also be good to get to know the tattooists and to learn more about the craft. You never know if I might do an apprenticeship in the future.

My initial plan for year 1 fell into a bucket of tar. Time for an update! By May of 2021 I should have accomplished the following:

Become consistent with my art work. Meaning I get into a routine and actually stick to it. At this point in time I should be able to make at least 2 art pieces a week and have them posted on all platforms. Hopefully I will get quicker and start surprising myself with how many I can do in a week.

In May of 2021, I should be just about finishing my second semester in my Master’s degree program at Academy of Art University in San Francisco, CA. And yes I did say Master’s degree. I thought I would be starting my master’s in like 5 more years, but with how the world is being impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, no time like the present. And I better be getting A’s and B’s! NO SLACKING!

Keeping on track with my new healthy life style. When ever the gym opens back up, I better be going for a workout 6 days a week. I better be keeping strong with portion control and limiting my junk food intake. I hopefully, will get a blender this next year. I love smoothies! I need to keep getting stronger and pushing myself. I ain’t no quitter now!

Hopefully I will get at least 1 paid commission piece. (I’m setting the bar low so not to blow my ego up.) I should also get a Patron profile. You never know who is welling to help struggling artists out there.

I still want to get a new tattoo.

Don’t turn back into a soulless husk of a being. Don’t forget your friends and connections you have made. Always remember to reach out for help if you feel the darkness coming back. It is OK to fail. Please don’t let it control you. #FailureisOK2

Year 5:

First things first, I need to have a strong client turn over. I need to have regular clients that come to me for everything that they need to be done. I also need to make sure that I take care of my relationship with my followers, collectors, and clients. I need them to know that I know them and care about each transaction that occurs with each and every person. I need to design personal Thank You cards for each and everything that I ship out. I need to create some sort of reward system or perks that come along with how long our connection lasts. It has to be clever and creative. Once I have maybe 50 die-hard followers I try and figure all of that out.

While on this journey to create my dream career and forge my niche in the world, I need to keep my health in check. I have to make sure that I see my doctors like I am supposed to. I need to make sure that I keep my food choices healthy and know when it is ok to have some cheat foods. I need to make sure that I have a solid exercise routine in place. I have to learn to love myself. I need to learn that Rome wasn’t built in a day and my ideal health is the same. Hopefully, in the 5 years I will achieve my 100lb weight loss and will be all around happier. Just gotta keep it up and keep pushing my own boundaries.

Repetition is key to building any sort of new routine. I need to keep myself on track with my social media correspondents. The more I am active the more people will believe in me and my work. I am human, and I will fudge up here and there, but I will not get discouraged. I will not throw in the towel. I will overcome my own shortcomings with my consistency.

I need to plan, save, and actualize a vacation to some other country. I really want to end up going to Ireland. I need to get estimates of lodging, flight plans, food, activities, and transportation. I need to start saving ASAP. I need to figure out what to do, how long the trip should be, and if anyone is coming with me. I have to also remember to renew my passport in 2021.

I have to do the same thing for a convention that I go to. I need a plan and a budget. I need to pick out which convention that I should go to. Then I should also look into becoming an artist that sells their craft there.

I need to design my massive back tattoo. I need to get a quote for the design and then save for it. I know that it is going to have to be over a couple of sessions to complete. However, if it is done correctly it is going to be well worth it.

Year 10:

I need to figure out where I belong. Do I stay around New England? Do I head over towards Seattle, WA? What is the world going to become in 10 years? Scientists say it is going to become a hellscape if we don’t do something soon about our impact on the climate and ecosystems. But if I look towards an actual future, where would I end up? Over the next ten years, I hope to do enough traveling that will help me decide. I want to know if I would actually like the west coast. I want to know that there is a future out there for me. I want to be able to say that I have been there and met some awesome people there. I don’t want to be a hermit. I want to use these next ten years not just to explore the land, but to find myself. I need to figure out who I am. I need to know that fit into the pack somewhere.

I feel as though even in ten years I am not going to be ready to settle down in one area for too long to buy a house. But you never know, I could find that one little cottage out there that meets all my needs and will be ok to settle there forever. The key to being able to settle down is that the area meets all my needs from my work needs to my social needs. I need to be able to feel welcomed and safe. Hopefully, it is somewhere that doesn’t get a lot of snow. Not too much to ask for, right?

In the next ten years, I want to make sure that I am on the career path to success. I want to be able to live how I want to live without having to have more than my art career. Like, I don’t want to have to get a cashier job in order to pay my bills. I want to be able to support myself and get the things I want and need without breaking the bank. I want to be able to walk into any store and get everything I want without worrying about being able to pay my rent. With that in mind, I have to work extremely hard and push myself to get my name out there. I need at least 100k followers/subscribers/clients from all my social media platforms to know that I can make it. I just can’t quit and throw away all my hard work away.

Over the next ten years, I want to be able to save money for a few different cars. I know I don’t seem like the type of person that is a gearhead, but I am. I want a sports car. Something like A Dodge HellCat or Chevrolet Corvette. I want a loud muscle car. I also want an electric car. I want to be able to be eco-friendly. The electric car depends on what is best when it is time to purchase one. Right now they are massively expensive and some of them just suck. Only the future will hold how well they become. There is a possibility of getting some sort of SUV. But then again that could fall into the electric car folder. But I know I want to be able to afford at least two cars in the next ten years.

Hopefully, with the passage of time, I will be able to finish at least one sleeve of tattoos. I want my body to tell my story. From certain events to things that I love. I want to be able to start a conversation with people. Art takes on many forms. I want my soul to show on the outside as brightly as it is on the inside. I want to show people who I am. I want to show people that tattoos are not for the criminals or the outcasts. They are meant to share the wear’s views and thoughts and life. We are but blank canvases that need to tell our own stories in our own ways.

In the next ten years, I want to be able to surround myself with people that lift me up. I need people that will push me to be my very best. I need people to tell me things bluntly. I need to have people that have a positive effect on me to be around. It is ok to not be liked by everyone. It is ok to not have a ton of friends. But it is not ok to have toxic people in my life. I can’t have “debbie-downers”, I can’t have leeches, I can’t have people who use me to build themselves up, and I can’t let people that love drama to be in my life. I can’t save everyone. I can only save me. These next ten years are going to be about me and my life. I don’t have to protect anyone anymore. I don’t have to forget about my needs. I don’t have to forget about me.

In ten years time, I am going to redo my plan. I am going to go bigger. I am on a journey of self-discovery these next ten years. And after that who knows what I want and where I will be in my life. There is no time limit for me. The only thing that is holding me back is me. Who knows how things are going to turn out. Every day is a journey in and of itself. I will do what I need to do. I have only just begun.