Howdy Crew!

Before we begin I just want to touch base with everyone. How are you doing? Have you been keeping in touch with loved ones? Have you been making sure you take care of your mind, body, and spirit? Have you practiced any self-love activities today? If your answers are all in the positive range, please keep up the good work. Also please check in with your loved ones that you know are struggling. If your answers are in the negative range, please take a moment do 1 simple act of kindness for yourself. I’ll be here when you get back, so no worries. Your well being is as important as anyone’s. #Alonetogether #selflove

Quarantine Challenge Project #10: Deity – Inner Goddess

Another day, another project. This one is a little bit different than all the others. This came to me in a dream. The other night I was having a really grotesque nightmare. I don’t remember what it was about, and quite frankly I don’t want to remember. All I know it was not something you would want your worst enemy to envision. Nightmares are not a new thing for me. They can range from varying horrors, such as regular getting lost in the woods to butchering random people. My nightmares get dark, violent, and unnatural.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to understand where my work comes from. When I tap into my raw mental state, things get scary. I don’t always let people see my raw emotions that I lay out on paper, but I am slowly learning that it is ok. Maybe someone seeing my work feels some sort of connection and realize that they are not as alone as they think. I know I needed that when I was growing up.

However, the dream I had the other night started out as a nightmare but then grew into a calm dreamless sleep. I couldn’t figure out how that happened when I first woke up. So after letting the pup out and then stumbling back into bed, I had a more vivid dream about what happened. I saw my demon trying to drag me back into the darkness, and then a light came from my center. It was this warrior Goddess that was so calm and peaceful and made me feel warm and safe. She cut the hold that the demon had over me and swept me up in her light. I knew she was telling me what had happened earlier in the night, because I felt that same peaceful, dreamless calm. I could not get it out of my head. So I knew I had to bring my vision in to the realm of reality.

Phase 1 (Before Photoshop)

Which leads us to this next piece. I know there looks to be no real uniform to the piece. That was the intention. I also know that the armor and the clothing of my Goddess looks to be from a bunch of different warrior cultures. I see bits of Norse, samurai, Roman, and medieval pieces mixed in. I have no idea what it all means. It part of the reason I can’t pin down who my Goddess is supposed to be. Is she even a mythical, ancient deity or is she my inner self? I am still trying to unpack it all for myself. When I figure it all out I’ll make sure to tell you guys as well.

Here is the process 😎

After finishing it in the with my usual medium I decided to add some more “pazzaz” with some Photoshop edits. Geezz, that took way too long for my taste. The struggle of going AWOL for a long time and then jumping back on the horse is way worse than I thought it was going to be. The struggle bus loves to run me over when I least expect it.

I can’t choose!

And then I could not choose which version I liked better to become the final product. So I left it up to my followers on my IG. In the end the people wanted the one with the black effect. But I am still unsure. What do you guys think?

That my friends concludes this tale. I have 4 more Quarantine Challenges left! (And who knows how long I’ll be out of work due to COVID-19.😭) I actually have a few more project ideas in the works as well. I promise I am not making a mountain out of a mole hill. Pinky-promise! I am also going to be updating my website with new stuff! I also have some personal entries being planned to update you on my future goals and adventures. So join my Crew on all my platforms to keep in the loop!

Until next time,

Captain Suzanna ⭐

Howdy Crew!

It has been a minute since your old Captain has given any sort of sign of life. A lot has happened in the time that I haven’t been around and I don’t even know where to start. Forgive your Captain for her lack of organization and forgetfulness. I am going to prove that this old sea dog is here to stay and I’m going to be making a difference.

In other news, how are you all doing? At this point in time the world seems a little chaotic. No matter where you are in the world or what you do for a living, I want to say I hope you are safe and staying healthy. And to all the essential workers out there, you are the true heroes. I have lots of love and respect for you and the hell you are going through. I hope if you are exploring my site to have a moment of calm in this storm that it gives you a smile and a well deserved distraction. Thank you.

I am still trying to figure out how to explain my unexpected hiatus. I am going to make a post dedicated solely to my absence, but I just really wanted to get back into the swing of things. If you have any questions for me, please ask. I am hoping to be able to get everything out in the next few days. //Crosses figures and toes.// Plus I have been working on tons of new content and ideas, so don’t go anywhere!

Quarantine Challenge

So if you have been following me on my IG you know I have made myself a Quarantine Challenge project. I have been trying to force myself to not come out of this lock-down without something to show for it. I am getting better at being consistent and not being afraid of failure. But I have always wanted to film my artistic process. I don’t have quite enough confidence to voice over let alone be on camera. But this is a start. I defiantly have come a long way with my mental health and self esteem. Baby steps, right? So without further ado, Quarantine Challenge Project #7: Demon.

You might be wondering, why Cerberus? What does the Greek Mythology that anything to do with demons? First off, we are not talking about the three headed Guardian of the Underworld. I collect and research and obsess over a wide range of stuff. Everything thing from Hello Kitty to the occult. My sister once told me that my room looks like there are multiple people living in one space. So, I have a tarot deck for different demons made by a demonologist. Don’t freak out, the deck isn’t for summoning demons. I’m not skilled enough to work with any sort of negative energy. (If you would like to know more about my crazy obsessions or my belief system just message me; if it is in popular demand I’ll make sure to include it all in a future post.) Anyway, I pulled Cerberus out of the deck.

And then the research started. So the demonology book that came with the deck didn’t offer me as much of an insight into who, what, when, where, how and why. So a quick Google search with some keywords lead me to Donate’s Divine Comedy. In the 3rd circle of Hell Dante meets the guardian of those who are gluttonous. Dante says that the beast looks like the 3 headed hound, like that of the Greek Mythology. Hence why people get confused on what it looks like. But if you read more in the “Infernal Dictionary” by Jacques Auguste Simon Collin De Plancy, (what a mouthful, geezz) the demonologist, he describes Cerberus a little different. Jacques say that demon has the body of a raven and 3 different heads of dogs. He also says that Cerberus is one of the kinder demons that would rather teach you about grace and staying in your lane rather than torture you. But even other demonologist say that Cerberus, when summoned, will show up with the body of a man and a head of a raven. I kind of Frankenstein the lore together to give you my version of Cerberus.

These first 3 images is of my research and my rough sketches. I mixed what Dante and Jacques say about the lore. I gave Cerberus the body of a raven and the 3 hound heads, because it is totally bizarre and way out there and I thought this is what kind of chaos Hell would give to your brain. Think about it, under great torture and just what ever kind of Hell you can picture it will defiantly make you loose all sense of sense. Like you could be hearing colors and tasting sounds. So you are trying to figure out what this creature looks like so you can wrap your broken mind around it to make any sort of sense. Then I decided to take the 3rd Circle of Hell: Gluttony from Dante to give it some sort of “home”. Mud and filth and excrement just swallowing the damned and the constant rain of nasty, just sounded like so much fun. Not really though. I also decided to include some sort of demonic army from the demonologist. It just felt right to me.

I like I might have unconsciously made the hounds look like my sister’s pup. Whoops.

For the Final piece, I have been really into blocking out large areas with watercolor and making the finer details with markers and ink. I think it turned out really well. I forgot to tell you about the flag! So through my research scholars have deemed this the symbol of Cerberus, and I just had to include it somewhere. What do you think of how it turned out?

Like I said earlier, I’ve always wanted to film my work. I have always been to nervous and shy about my work being out there in the universe that I never thought that I had the skill to do so. But I have a “take no prisoners” attitude right now and just dived right in. Hell, I even made a YouTube Channel for my work. I am slowly teaching myself how to film and edit. It is definitely a learning curve that I am so pumped for. I have more Quarantine Challenge Projects in the works and new opportunities for more videos. So buckle up kiddos we are going on an adventure!

All and all, I am excited for this new Chapter in life. I am so glad you are all going on this journey with me. “The more the merrier,” they always say. At the end of this post there are my Social Media links. Please make sure to follow me to stay up to date. Thanks a bunch! I’m so ready for all of this, are you?

Until next time,

Captain Suzanna